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by Jace Drayson on Apr 23, 2012 at 02:56 PM
Diplomatic Journal #297
Republic Diplomatic Corps

(personal entry)

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Conflict…

It seems to drive the galaxy. Beings draw imaginary lines through space laying claim to territory and resources, warring over who takes the spoils. Governments clash with skirmishes in undeclared cold war across multiple worlds. Light and Dark collide and pull the Force out of balance. And even in my own being… In my own heart… The desires and attachments I fight against tug me from what I perceived to be my destiny – from what I have been taught and trained my entire life…

Conflict…

Within the Coruscant Vanguard, loyalty is tested and a band, which should be steeped in common purpose and singular vision, struggles against itself. Each time I find myself within the company of my compatriots, I watch them tear at each other… Weapons are drawn. Challenges are made. Dominance is claimed.

And now I watch one struggle within himself, and his own inner struggle could cost him his very life. I sense Darkness stalking him, willing his destruction. And his pain has become my own… My dogma is tested, and I perceive shades of gray where once existed only black and white.

Around the periphery of the Vanguard, a Darkness swirls. Dark visions cast a shadow over many among us. A common threat could unite. Or it could be the death knell that I fear.

Conflict…

For one whose highest call is to forge peace, it is the bane of destiny. And my certainty of purpose becomes shattered. And the knowledge of who I am becomes clouded. But as my Master taught me… It is in the struggle that we find value. The path we follow is always our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. My destiny cannot be changed, but it can be challenged. Every being is born as many beings, and dies as a single one.
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by Alvina Shatal on Mar 28, 2012 at 04:26 PM
Journal entry #113

I haven't had much time to write lately. I have been training my sister, she has learned the ways of the Jedi, Sith, and everything in between. I know she will stop this darkness I have forseen, someone has to. This war is not the true war, the true war lies in the hearts of us all and the one known as the Emporer is the true threat in this war. Today is some type of festival here on Alderaan, I'm letting Alvina take a break from her training to have some fun in her life for once. I know my fate, I have seen it in the visions, the ones I have been seeing in Voss and I am okay with it. I also know the other visions I have seen, Alvina will be the catalyst in defeating the Emporer. I can only hope the Vanguard takes her in and helps her with her grief when it happens.I think today might be that day, with all these Imperials around, many will be hunting for Darth Elana. They will not get her, not on my watch.
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by Jace Drayson on Mar 28, 2012 at 10:39 AM
Diplomatic Journal #282
Republic Diplomatic Corps

(personal entry)

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I found myself dreading this trip core-ward. My duties in the outer rim usually keep me entirely too removed from the politics and machinations of The Coruscant Vanguard. But in the loss of one of our own, I felt my presence on the Telos was the least I could provide.

The loss of a compatriot is a centering event no matter how one looks at it. The code teaches us that death is no more than another avenue in the journey of life. The Force remains. It is this belief that allows me to rest in the peace that Althia’s luminous presence exists beyond terrestrial perception.

What troubles me is the lack of peace permeating the memorial service. Instead of contemplation and meditation, the event was marred by talk of revenge and war-making. I listened to those with whom I am associated and found myself perplexed. I was unprepared for the level of Darkness and vengeance carried by members of the organization of which I am a part. Despite the brilliance of the nearby star bathing the Telos in its light, the presence of the Dark Side was palpable.

There has been a part of me that has always been at odds with the militant nature of the Vanguard. My Master, however, believed fully in her mission and my involvement has been a staple of my personal history – even if only by proxy. This event has brought me to a crossroads and I find myself confronted by a choice…

I trust that with meditation, the Will of the Force will present itself. Guidance always comes if one is patient enough. I just hope that it comes before the onset of critical mass… One tragedy often leads to another.
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by T'Varic Summercide on Dec 22, 2011 at 02:03 AM
Journal Entry 33

Zureth thought I should start keeping one of these. It's been helpful. I don't make his undertaking easy, and maybe thats while I'm still at this for the most part alone. We had an interesting conversation the other day however. About life and the force, their connection, or disconnection. The connection we jedi have is what makes life so valuable, so needing of protection. The catch of that is we are expected to give up some of the most basic parts of it. The teachings assume it will lead to indulgence, due to such a strong connection to what it is, moderation is hard when you've had a taste of it. The normal being can take an experience for what it is, let it go, or even try to follow it up, and often fail, but from the beginning, for a Jedi its magnified ten fold. I could follow with many examples, but the one that concerns me is love...any kind of it, because it creates the strongest connection between fellow beings, for Jedi it can be a stronger connection than blood.

Mine certainly was with my master. Cliche as it was, he was the Father I never had, or knew anyway, and I believe I was the son he wasn't allowed to have. I'm not sure I could be wrong, but eitherway the connection was made. Through time, through training, through the force. Thats what concerns me. No one will confirm his death, but no one is looking for him either. I've been through the grieving process...the short one I was allowed, but it wasn't very grievous at all, because I still felt him. I still feel him, his force. I bring it up now because its beginning fade and grow stronger at the same time. The force itself has intensified, but my familiarity with it, dissipating. I'm not sure what any of it means yet, but I will seek it out. I must, I owe that to him.
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by Aeiryn Windstar on Dec 02, 2011 at 12:04 AM
Entry #125

It has been quite some time since I last wrote in this journal. I should mention that I have found a home with a group of Republic Citizens calling themselves 'The Coruscant Vanguard'. I have been apart of their organization for a few months now and I think that their purpose is noble and true. Many other Jedi have flocked to their banner; as well as several members of the Republic Military.

Dear Journal, The Vanguard has given me renewed faith in the Force. When I stand side by side with these heroes, who I call my brothers and sisters, I am filled with a righteous zeal that I have not felt since the Sacking of Coruscant. I'm getting ahead of myself though, and allowing my emotions to get the better of me. Master Satele has spoken to me about my passions and has helped me to better find my calm in these situations. I owe Master Satele a great deal for her assistance lately. Though I owe my brothers and sisters in the Vanguard more, for they were there when the darkness nearly consumed me.

The events of that meeting are circumspect at best, needless to say I was forced into an encounter of a personal nature. Everyday I am reminded of what happened when I look down at my sword arm and see the artificially crafted replacement. Yes, dear Journal, I lost my arm in battle with someone I once called friend, someone I even once may even have loved. Yet, now she is gone and my only reminder of her is the mechanical gift she gave me.

Recently, The Jedi Council has requested all Jedi return to Tython, the Ancient Founding World of our Order. I do not know what the Council wants with us, but the Vanguard has split for the time being, allowing those of us with ties to the Order to answer the call. Though I am certain we will all meet again very soon.